Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Funniest Movie Ever

It is my heart-felt conviction
that The Emperor's New Groove
is The Funniest Movie of All Time.

Ever since my brother and I
watched the film for the first time
eleven or so years ago,
and through forty-seven and a half [now forty-eight and a half] viewings,
my opinion hasn't changed:

It's hilarious.

From Kuzco's (David Spade) outrageous outbursts
"Wah! Llama Face!"
"No touchy! Nooooo touchy! No touch!"
AND [after being 'rescued' from jaguars, but now tied to a tree about to fall into a river and then go over a huge waterfall]
"Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?"
to the way a palace guard complains
"Hey, I've been turned into a cow: Can I go home?"

to the meta-joke about Yzma and Kronk chasing Kuzco and Pacha and having it all traced on a map and in the 'real' world and Kuzco and Pacha beating them back to the palace, and yet Yzma and Kronk are still somehow in the laboratory way before them.

It's hilarious.

The very premise of the film:
An emperor being so stuck-up and egotistical
nobody likes him
he gets turned into a llama
(an accident, because "he's supposed to be dead").
he then deceives his one and only friend in the whole wide world.
but the "big fat guy" loves him still anyway
and helps him get turned back into a human
so Kuzco's heart is changed.
and instead of destroying a whole village
just to build himself a personal summer home
he becomes Pacha's friend.
and Kronk (the clumsy sidekick) becomes a Junior Chipmunk Instructor.
and Yzma becomes a cute kitty cat.

(Ridiculous-ly Hilarious!)

And what about the Afro-Headed Theme-Song Guy Who Pops Out of a Cake?
Don't wanna forget about him!
Also, Hilarious.

And the restaurant scene,
when they pretend to be married, and pretend it's Yzma's birthday;
and in which we learn Kronk took wrestling class, metal shop, and interpretative dance in high school,
and he again shows off his skills as a chef:
"Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill, got it."
So: If all that doesn't have you convinced,
Go Watch the Movie.
You'll laugh so hard,
You'll never be sane the same again.

(Note: If you perchance were to think The Emperor's New Groove is not the Funniest Movie Ever -- and I foresee that this might be a possibility -- that's okay. sorta.
But you'd have to suggest an alternative.
Or else be tarred and feathered.
And beaten by kids in place of their piƱata.
And nobody wants that.)


  1. Oh my goodness, you can be funny? The Emperor is amusing, but also a muse?

  2. yep, I testify that jeff and his brother have (verbatim) recited this movie from beginning to end on road trips... laughing all the way.